C22C Siblings

June 19, 2024 Chromosome 22 Central

Siblings

The addition of anyone into a family changes how the family functions, and this is no less true than when a sibling enters the family who presents with additional challenges. According to family systems theory, which is often used as a framework when studying family dynamics, when something happens to one family member, everyone is affected. This makes sense. The impact on typically developing siblings may be significant. The factors that determine how significant are several: the severity of the needs of the new sibling, the ability of the parents to cope, culture, and the typical child’s own ability to make sense of things. It is important to understand what might be happening for typical siblings. They are growing up alongside their special sibling, probably worrying a lot about them just like you are and developing an understanding that they may share in the responsibility for their care—currently and maybe into the future. They are impacted by their siblings’ lives daily.

Several studies have explored the adjustment and impact that siblings with different types of disabilities have on typically developing siblings. Some report that typical siblings are at increased risk for behavioural and emotional problems, especially when there is greater conflict or stress in a family related to the challenges of the child with the disability. It can depend on the nature of the disability, especially where there may be behaviour issues, what available social supports exist, and how much time and effort are needed from the parents.

Siblings of children with disabilities experience a lot. They sometimes feel sad that their siblings cannot participate in family activities in the same way they can. They may become resentful about having to help with care-related duties or feel upset when plans get disrupted because of their sibling. They may find it hard to understand their sibling’s behaviour or find it difficult to accept their disabilities. They may feel different around others, including strangers who may stare and make them feel embarrassed, and peers at school who may make negative comments, and they may feel worried about bringing their friends home. They may think that their parents do not have as much time for them. These experiences may make them feel isolated and lonely. They may also worry more about their parents and what they are going through, and think that they need to avoid causing any problems so that they do not add to the stress.

That does not mean to say, however, that all impacts are negative. Siblings of children with disabilities may mature earlier, form closer relationships with their parents, and develop greater tolerance and understanding of others, have greater empathy and closeness and less conflict and rivalry. Additionally, adult siblings can play key roles in supporting their brothers or sisters into adulthood, including caregiving and advocacy, and tend to have close relationships.

Tips for C22C Siblings

Include your typical siblings into some of the conversations and decisions about their special sibling. They are likely worried and want to know what is going on.
Encourage siblings to be open with you about their feelings, and do not judge them for how they feel. Tell them that you sometimes feel scared or worried and how you deal with your feelings.
Help your children find things that they can do together.
They will be asked questions by other people—at school, their friends, etc. Help them by providing information that is easily understandable so that they can talk to others.
As hard as it may sometimes be to make it happen, make sure your typical child gets one-on-one time with you. Make sure they know that you hear them and that they are loved and valued.

Want to connect with other siblings? We have a dedicated Siblings Facebook group.